How Slikour got over his dark moments
NOT everything that shines is gold. This can be said of former Swatta Kamp rapper, Slikour's life, who looked like he was living his best life during the peak of his career. But little did the world know that he was suffering from depression.
Slikour, real name Siyabonga Metane, explains that a year after Swatta Kamp’s last album was released in 2009, he went through a phase where he was tired of almost everything he loved doing. “But I never knew that I was depressed. That wasn’t even a term in my vocabulary. I knew that I was tired. I was tired of work and uninspired to do what I loved,” says Slikour. He says fame is not what people make it out to be. “We get caught up in the anxiety of physical expectations for ourselves and so called fans. When you get tired of taking this drug called fame, that’s when you realise how empty you are, especially if you’ve defined yourself through success and fame,” he says. “I think an additional problem is pride, which is fed by compliments, money, girls and a lavish lifestyle. The biggest enemy to humility is not accepting that these things can change how you view yourself. The same way I never saw the success coming, I never saw myself changing.”
SEEKING SPIRITUAL INTERVENTION
When things got too much to handle, Slikour got tired of the ‘world’ he had created and decided to head back home. He says moving back home after 12 years saved his life. “I pretty much left my apartment and went to live with my parents. I don’t think they knew I was depressed because I hadn’t lived with them for almost 12 years. I am glad I moved back home because this is how I saved myself. There was a lot of spiritual intervention. Spiritual people also say I saved myself, which is understandable because I never gave up on life; I only gave up on the world,” he says.
PUTTING HIS FEELINGS ON PAPER
Slikour says he had to make peace with losing everything he worked for and start again. “The only way I could let go was by leaving my life of independence and going back home to the people who birthed me. I sat in my room and wrote my way out of what I was feeling. I wrote a lot about my goals. I rewrote my life on pieces of paper and notes on iPads. Without me knowing it, those notes became ideas that manifested into my business called SlikourOnLife,” he says. SlikourOnLife is an urban and hip hop culture website, which caters to music fans.